


5 Times That Tom Price Said “I Love You,” and the 1 Time That Edward Thompson Realized It Was Too Late to Say It Back

by Sheridoodle



Category: Pieces Of String - Gowland
Genre: Between Canon, Blood, Blood and Injury, Canon Compliant, Gunshot Wounds, Internalized Homophobia, M/M, Period-Typical Homophobia, mentions of Jane and Anna
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-12
Updated: 2021-03-12
Packaged: 2021-03-19 03:14:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,590
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29993028
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sheridoodle/pseuds/Sheridoodle
Summary: “You’re a sap, Price. Have I ever told you that?”“I believe you have,” Tom said with an equally sappy smile.~~~~~~~Basically what it says on the tin. Some sprinkled in canon-extention love scenes and also a depressing ending, hooray!
Relationships: Ed/Harry, Edward/Tom





	5 Times That Tom Price Said “I Love You,” and the 1 Time That Edward Thompson Realized It Was Too Late to Say It Back

**Author's Note:**

> I've watched this show like 3 times now online and I cannot get over how good it is, so y'know how it is, express your love through writing and all that jazz. I'm just happy to add another fic to this tag after 3 years haha

~I~

It was dawn. The sunlight peeked over the rolling hills surrounding camp. No one was awake yet, but they would be soon. But for now, the world around camp was beautifully, peacefully empty and silent. It was the perfect time to be alive. 

“You know, the way the sunlight hits your face makes you look like a fancy painting,” Tom said, gazing down at the man laying in his lap. He’d known this man for a little over a year now, yet every time Tom looked at him, it was as if the wind was being knocked out of him all over again. Edward’s eyes were closed as the fresh sunlight shone on his face. A small smirk appeared as he peeked open an eye to see his lover staring at him from above. 

“Really?” He asked.

“Really,” Tom answered. Edward reached up and swatted at Tom’s face. Tom protested and batted his hand away with a chuckle. Edward laughed. 

“You’re a sap, Price. Have I ever told you that?” 

“I believe you have,” Tom said with an equally sappy smile. 

“Good. Because it’s still true.” Edward shut his eyes again and let out a happy sigh. 

The two of them were perched on the top of a hill, far away and out of sight from camp. They had awoken early and decided to get some alone time in before another day of drills and battles and more drills. Tom had been getting up early for years, but that doesn’t mean it got any more enjoyable for him. It was just something he endured to make it through the day successfully. 

And yet… seeing Edward like this, basking in the golden sunlight of the sunrise, it made him want to get up earlier more, just so he could have this sight all to himself for a bit longer. 

“You’re still staring, aren’t you?” Edward piped up. 

“Why wouldn’t I want to?” Tom asked, bringing his hand up to hold Edward’s face. 

“Because I probably have the most massive dark circles under my eyes. I swear, I will never get used to how long and tiring these days are.” He opened both of his eyes now, and he was staring back up at Tom. “One of these days, I’ll wake up and realize I’ve slept the whole twenty four hours instead of just sleeping through the night.” 

“Sergeant would never let you. He’d have your head before anyone on enemy lines even got the chance,” Tom joked. He noticed Edward tense up at the mention of death and realized his mistake. Right. “ _But_ that is far beside the point. I think your face is gorgeous no matter how dark the circles under your eyes are, Laces.”

“Aww, Tom, you think I’m pretty?” Edward sat up and spun around. The two of them were now sat across from each other, legs crossed in front of themselves, knees to knees. 

“Yeah. Pretty _dorky,_ that’s what you are.” Tom chuckled and gave Edward a little shove on the shoulder. 

“Hey, cut it out!” Edward lunged forward and tackled Tom to the ground, falling down next to him in the grass. Both of them laughed as they went down. They rolled to face each other, and when Tom opened his eyes, he saw Edward grinning and laughing, looking completely carefree and happy. If he was none the wiser, he wouldn’t have even thought there was a war going on in their country. Looking at his smile made Tom feel like nothing could ever go wrong again. 

“I love you, Edward,” he said. It was all he could think. He was completely enamored with the laughing man in front of him.

Edward’s laughing stopped abruptly as he processed Tom’s words. His eyes widened out of… surprise? Shock? Fear? Disgust? Tom had no idea, but he kept it in and his face remained the same. 

But then Edward smiled again. It was a soft smile, a small one. Tom felt as if it was a smile meant just for him. That’s what he wanted to believe, at least. 

“Really?” Edward asked. 

Perhaps he just wasn’t ready to say it back. 

“Really,” Tom said. 

And you know what? Tom found himself okay with that fact. Because he knew he would one day. 

“You’re a sap, Price.” Edward leaned in and rested his forehead against Tom’s. And he just smiled. 

Edward could give Tom that smile any day and he didn’t have to speak a word. He knew Edward loved him too. 

“Yeah, I know.” Tom just smiled back. 

~II~

“-one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight. One, two, three, four- _Ow_ …” Tom groaned as Edward’s heel collided with his shin. Edward quickly leapt back, letting go of Tom’s arm and completely breaking their rhythm. He crossed his arms and averted his eyes, almost looking ashamed as he did so. 

“Oh my god, I am so sorry Tom, I didn’t mean-” 

“Hey, Laces, it’s alright. Lindy Hop is _really_ hard, I wasn’t expecting you to get it the first try,” Tom said.

It had been a few weeks since Edward _finally_ let Tom start to teach him how to dance, and he had to say he was really impressed at how fast Edward picked up what he’s been putting down. A few weeks ago, Tom started slow and simple. They ran off to the secret alcove after dinner, the one where they first kissed, and practiced simple steps to the music of a shitty handheld radio. But he soon realized how much better Edward was at dancing than he let on, or better than he even knew he was. They jumped instantly into slower and more moderate dances, and soon enough, Edward was ready for swing. 

Swing was… difficult as all hell, to say the least. He remembered learning swing when he and Rose were younger. 

“Dancing is for girls and sissies, Tom,” his mother told him. 

“But mum! I need a dance partner and Tom’s the only one willing to learn! _Please!_ ” He remembered a little Rose begging her heart out to their mother. And after a bit more pushing and shoving on Tom’s part, and a few more puppy-dog eyes on Rose’s, their mother finally let him and Rose take dance classes together.

And oh, what a joy it was. Tom was a natural dancer, really. Quick on his feet, quick in his mind, he made all the best decisions with flare and style. He only quit lessons when he left his hometown to join the military. But that didn’t mean he stopped dancing, not at all. At camp, he would dance with the nurses when things got a bit too grim. On leave, he would hit up any local pub he could and dance the night away. And now, he got to be the teacher for once. The teacher to a _very_ handsome student, he might add. 

A very handsome student who didn’t seem to like failing, even when it was his very first time practicing one of the hardest dancing styles Tom had ever learned. 

“I didn’t hurt you, did I?” Edward asked, finally looking back up at Tom. Tom’s eyebrows furrowed in confusion. 

“What? No, of course not, Edward. You just kicked my shin a little, that’s all. Gonna take a lot more than that to hurt me,” Tom said. He stuck his hand out for Edward to take. “You ready to try that one again?”

“Um, actually, would you mind if we put a pause on Lindy Hop tonight? I’m feeling a bit tuckered out from learning all the steps,” Edward replied. Tom nodded and started to lower his hand. 

“Yeah, of course! I wouldn’t want to completely wear you out, Laces. Come on, we can start to head back now-” Tom was cut off by Edward reaching out and grabbing hold of his hand. He abruptly shut up at that. 

“No!- Er, well, no, what I meant to say was… I don’t want to stop dancing just yet. Would you mind if we went back and reviewed one of the slower dances you first taught me? I just think that’ll be a bit less energy draining, you know.” Edward looked away again and scratched the back of his neck with his free hand. Was he flustered about still wanting to dance with him? Tom couldn’t help but smile at that. 

“Laces, if you wanted to slow dance with me all you had to do was ask.” Tom could see Edward’s face flush ever so slightly, and he chuckled. He reached over to the little bench they had snuck in here and turned on the handheld radio, turning it to a station playing a relatively slow song. Then he turned back to Edward and pulled him close. 

He wrapped his arm around Edward’s mid-back as Edward snaked his arm around Tom’s waist. Edward shoved his face into Tom’s shoulder, and Tom gently laughed. They moved their held hands to the proper position beside them and started to slowly sway to the music. Just a few weeks ago, Edward stumbled through songs this slow. But now, there were no toes being stepped on as they just moved to the beat. Back and forth and around, just holding each other. 

Tom realized he knew this song. It was pretty new, but it was all over the radio all the time, and so Tom heard it constantly while the radio played during lunch and break hours. 

“ _Could you coo, could you care, for a cunning cottage we could share. The world will pardon my mush, ‘cause I have got a crush on you_.” Edward’s head snapped up when he heard Tom start to sing. Tom had never sung for him before, so it was a shock to hear him singing. Tom had a beautiful, smooth baritone voice.

Tom looked down and noticed Edward staring up at him, practically swooning. He noticed Edward was starting to stumble, distracted by listening to him sing. 

“I’ve never heard you sing before, Tom,” Edward spoke up. He was still staring up at him. 

“I’m not much of a singer, really. Dancing is what I’m best at. But sometimes, when I know a song I’m dancing to, I like to sing along. But I’m really not that good, honest,” Tom said, shrugging off his singing ability. Edward’s eyes nearly widened out of his sockets. 

“Not that good!? Are you kidding me? Your voice is amazing!” Edward protested. Despite the conversation, they were still dancing. It seemed Edward had gotten just a little better at the whole multitasking thing. 

“You think so?” Tom asked, and Edward nodded. 

“I do! You should sing for me more often. I might have some more incentive to learn harder dance steps if I get to listen to you sing while we practice,” Edward said. Tom couldn’t help but chuckle at that. He leaned down and gave Edward a light kiss on the lips, and Edward eagerly kissed him back. Tom quickly pulled away though, much to Edward’s disappointment.

“I will, but only because I love you, Laces. If you were anyone else, I’d tell you to stop being stubborn and just swing dance with me.” 

“But I’m not anyone else. I’m _Laces_. And so you have to sing for me.” Edward said triumphantly, a grin spreading across his lips. 

“Don’t get too cocky now, Edward, I can always take it back,” Tom smirked. Edward just nuzzled his face back into Tom’s shoulder. 

“You wouldn’t.” 

Tom didn’t reply to that, because Edward was right. There was no way in hell he’d take it back. But he wouldn’t let Edward win with that knowledge. So Tom just rested his face on Edwards head and they continued to sway to the slow music, as the sun set outside the alcove. 

~III~

The door to the barracks slammed open and the bleak, gray sky allowed the little light it offered to shine in the room. Almost instantly after, Edward rushed in with a staggering Tom under his arm. Their faces were coated in sweat as they struggled for a steady breath. And Tom was covered in blood. Edward hastily set Tom down onto a bench, making sure not to hurt him on the way down. 

“Stay right here, okay?” Edward said, his voice shaking. He pressed a torn piece of fabric to Tom’s side and guided Tom’s hands to it so he could hold it there by himself. “I-I’ll be right back, I promise.”

And he rushed off, leaving Tom by himself. Tom’s eyes followed Edward as he left, and for a little, he just sat there with the fabric pressed to his side whilst taking shaky, deep breaths. 

He moved his arm a little to make himself more comfortable, but the movement of the fabric sent a shooting pain all throughout his side. He winced and clenched his jaw. He hated how one stupid mistake left him helpless, bleeding out, and alone. 

All he wanted to do was help Edward. 

It all happened so fast, too. He and Edward were set up behind a barricade as one of their comrades fell. It was William, a fellow soldier who sat with them during mealtimes. He was big and strong, but he was young, barely even 19. He looked up to the two of them for guidance, how to be a proper man. And now he was lying in the dirt, bleeding out. 

“Tom, I have to go grab him!” Edward shouted through the constant commotion of the field as he got in position to dash out.

“Laces, it’s too dangerous!” Tom grabbed Edward’s forearm and yanked him back behind the cover. Edward looked up at Tom with desperation.

“Please, Tom! He’s just a kid! I cannot let him die alone out there.” Edward placed his other hand on Tom’s, the one that was gripping his arm. Tom pursed his lips. The place where William was laying was way out in the open. Edward could easily be shot at if he wasn’t careful. But it was to save their friend… was Tom more willing to lose William or Edward? Tom took a sharp breath. Why did life or death decisions have to be so complicated?

“Fine. But I’m going out there with you to cover you.” Edward smiled at that. He had the highest possibility of death he’d probably had all day, and yet he was smiling at Tom. Some things about this man would always remain an enigma to him. 

“Thank you,” Edward said, as he got back in position to make a run for it. Tom stood beside him, welrod in hand, ready to shoot at anyone in their way. 

“Three…” Tom took a deep breath, bracing himself for… whatever lied in the dark, cloudy abyss beyond their covering. 

“Two…” Tom looked over at Edward, who was focused solely on William’s body. 

“One…” Tom looked back out at the terrain in front of him. Here goes nothing. 

“Go.”

It was as if everything happened all at once. They ran for it. The air around them was full of _noise._ Constant, percussive noise. But Tom kept a steady head as he looked out for anyone approaching. And it seemed they had good luck for a little while. They made it to William’s body, and Edward picked him up. 

“I got him!” Edward yelled triumphantly. Tom looked back at him. 

“You’re not done yet! Now go back!” Tom yelled in return, and Edward only just then seemed to realize there was a whole other half to what they started. And so, with a slight stumble in their pace, they started to run back. 

They shouldn’t have yelled. Or maybe they should have been faster… whatever it was, there was a slip up somewhere. And there was a gunshot, followed by one of the most intense burning sensations Tom’s ever felt in his life. He stumbled and collapsed, landing right behind the covering they had left mere minutes before. 

And then he heard a scream come from above him, and heard a thump on the ground next to him, and the pound of more footsteps approaching, and more yelling, and more noise, and everything was just so loud. So loud. So loud. He couldn’t see anything, everything was so blurry. 

He felt arms wrap around his waist and pull him up, and he winced when they hit his wound. They recoiled for a second, and then adjusted their arm to a better position and lifted him to his feet. Tom leaned against the person lifting him. A wave of dizziness hit and he let out a groan, clutching the arm of the person holding him. 

“Hey, y-you’re going to be okay, yeah?” Tom heard Edward’s voice whisper in his ear from beside him. He was the one carrying him. “Come on.”

Another wave of dizziness crashed into Tom and he fell back against the wall of the barrack, which caused his arm to move, which caused the pain of his wound to flare again. He let out a groan of pain and frustration and just stared at the ceiling. He wished he could do more than just sit around and be in pain. This wasn’t him. He wasn’t supposed to get hurt and be weak. He was supposed to fight and be strong, just like he always was. But now he had a bullet lodged in his side. 

The door to the barrack swung open again and Edward rushed in with an overflowing armful of various bandages and bottles. He ran over to the bench and got on his knees next to Tom, unloading his haul onto the bench in between them. 

“I’m back-” Edward huffed out, barely even taking time to catch his breath. From the pile of supplies he pulled out a canister, unscrewed it, and handed it to Tom. “Here, I got you a drink.”

“Mm, s’better be whiskey or something, what I’d give to be plastered right now,” Tom said as he took a swig of his drink. “Or water works too, I guess.” 

“Hydration. Important. Uh, yeah,” Edward mumbled while digging through the pile of stuff. He dumped a liquid from a bottle onto a clean rag. Tom decided now wasn’t the time to question what it was. 

“Ok, you can take the fabric off your side. I’m pretty sure this is gonna sting, so uh… hang tight.” Tom peeled the blood-soaked cloth from his side and Edward quickly replaced it with the clean rag. Almost instantly, another wave of dizziness washed over Tom. 

“Agh, fucking shit-” He hissed out, as he screwed his eyes shut and the back of his head hit the wall. That hurt a lot worse than he expected. 

“S-Sorry!”

“Not your fault, Laces, ‘sfine,” Tom clenched his jaw. He opted to keep his eyes shut as Edward pulled off the rag and started opening a thing of what he could only assume was bandages. And then he heard Edward sigh in relief. 

“Oh thank god…” 

“Hm? What is it?” 

“The bullet didn’t lodge into you. It just grazed past your side… The wound is still pretty ugly, but there’s nothing to dig out.” Tom was relieved by that news as well, but he didn’t have nearly enough strength to show it. There wasn’t a bullet lodged in his side. He was still exhausted and probably bleeding out, but at least there wasn’t a bullet lodged in his side. 

He felt a new piece of cloth being pressed to his side, and then he felt Edward lift up his shirt and wrap something around his waist. Tom smirked. 

“Finally making moves on me now that I’m dying, are you, Edward? Flattering,” he said with a strained chuckle. Edward lightly batted at his arm. 

“Asshole, you are not dying,” Edward replied firmly. 

“Mmm, sure feels like it,” Tom jested. He knew people who still had bullets in them and were right as rain. It may have hurt like a bitch, but he knew he would probably be fine soon enough. “If I bleed out by tomorrow, just know I love you, alright Laces?” 

Tom heard a sniffle from beside him and he opened his eyes to look up at Edward. He was wiping a tear off his cheek. Tom rolled over just slightly to face Edward, careful not to stretch out or pressure his newly-tended wound. 

“You’re crying…”

“I am not,” Edward said, and immediately sniffled right after. He tried to blink back a tear, but it rolled down his cheek anyways. Tom felt a pang of guilt in his chest.

“I’m sorry, I went too far. I shouldn’t have joked like that,” Tom apologized, reaching out to hold Edward’s hand. Edward looked him in the eyes, and through his tears, he looked angry. 

“Yeah, you shouldn’t have! You can’t just say shit like that, Tom!” Edward’s voice shook like mad. “It was my fault you got hurt. I shouldn’t have… it was too dangerous, you were right.”

“No, Edward, don’t say that. Is William okay?” 

“Last time I checked, he was being tended to by the nurses,” Edward said. 

“If he’s safe, then I’m all good. You did the brave thing out there. You were right, you are not a coward,” Tom squeezed his hand. He sniffled again. 

“But you got _shot_ Tom, and when you fell it’s like everything around me froze and I started to panic.” Edward squeezed Tom’s hand back harder, and Tom could tell his whole body was shaking. “I just don’t know what I would do if you… if you…”

“Died?”

“Yeah.” Edward reached up to wipe the tears from his face again, but Tom beat him to it. 

“Then don’t think about it. I’m not going anywhere, not if I can help it,” Tom assured him with a soft smile. Edward gave him a shaky smile in return. 

“Okay. I trust you.” Edward leaned down and gave Tom a soft peck on the forehead. Tom looked up and kissed him back. 

~IV~

“Careful, Tom!-“ 

One hand after the other, one foot after the other, one ladder rung at a time. 

“Oh come on Edward, live a little!”

Tom reached his hand down from the roof to where Edward was clinging to the ladder. Edward took it and allowed himself to be pulled up.

“Wow… it all looks so beautiful from up here.”

“I told you it was worth the climb, Laces!”

Tom noticed that Edward was still tightly gripping his hand. He wasn’t surprised, it was his very first time climbing to the roof of a moving train. Tom, however, had done this plenty of times before on previous trips home for military leave. This time was only different because he brought someone up here with him.

“You won’t fall, Edward, I promise. I’ve done this a million times before,” Tom reassured Edward, squeezing the hand that was tightly gripping his own. Edward looked down at their hands and flinched. 

“I’m sorry, I didn’t realize I was still-”

“Oh! No, Edward, don’t apologize. I like it when you hold my hand anyways.” Edward broke eye contact at that, turning away and using his free hand to cover his face, definitely flustered. Tom just chuckled.

The two of them sat in silence a while, just looking out at the fields and valleys that blew past them each moment. Amongst the vast spans of grass was the occasional lonesome house, spread miles apart from the previous one they spotted, and miles before the next one they would see. 

“Seems almost lonesome, to live so far away from your neighbors,” Edward piped up after a long bout of silence. Tom hummed, choosing to continue to look out at the fields instead of at his lover.

“I don’t think so. It seems quite peaceful, if you ask me. Imagine it: just you and the person you hold dearest, and that’s the only person you have to see on any given day. I sure wouldn’t mind it,” Tom turned to look at Edward, directing the statement to him and only him. Edward didn’t seem to notice, nor did he respond to it for a while. He was still staring out at the fields. Then, suddenly, he turned his head to look at Tom.

“You were talking about me, weren’t you?” He asked, and he sounded completely serious too. Tom rolled his eyes.

“No, Edward, the other person who I hold dearest,” Tom said.

“I’m serious! You really mean it? You wouldn’t mind waking up every day to me? Having to see me and only me for hours on end?” Tom shook his head. 

“Of course not, cuz I love you. If I minded, I would have stopped this whole thing a long time ago,” Tom said simply, and left it at that. Edward didn’t seem to know how to reply to that, and so the two returned to silence. 

After a while, they approached another train track, one running parallel to theirs. And they couldn’t help but notice a train on those tracks heading right in their direction. And on the roof of that train sat two figures. 

From what Tom could see, the figures were two women, one with absurdly long fluffy hair and one with a shoulder length bob. They sat embraced, the taller one with the bob sitting behind the shorter one, arms and legs wrapped around her to keep her in close. 

Tom tapped Edward and pointed to them, and he could feel Edward relax, to his surprise. And what shocked him the most is that Edward started waving to the two women! 

Tom cupped his hand next to his mouth and decided to call out to them. 

“Hello over there!” He shouted to them, and they actually heard him. The taller one tapped the shorter one and she started to wave back at Edward. The taller cupped her own hand next to her mouth. 

“ _Salut, messieurs!_ ” They heard the woman call back. They were frenchwomen! Tom couldn’t help but smile at them. 

And the two train cars they each sat on passed right next to each other, only for a moment. The taller woman smiled right back at Tom, and he felt a sense of solidarity he didn’t think he’d ever felt before. It was strange, but it was exhilarating. 

And then the moment passed, and the train with the women went the way that Edward and Tom’s train had just come from. And in a matter of seconds, the women were completely out of view, and Edward stopped his waving.

Tom turned his face to look at Edward, and it seemed that Edward had the same idea. And at that moment, they didn’t need to say anything. All they had to do was smile. 

~V~

“Oh my god! _Everyone_ will know!” Edward’s voice rang through the silence that Rosie’s exit from the room created. Tom spun around to face him and opened his mouth to speak, but he had no clue what to say. 

_‘They won’t find out’_ wasn’t right, was it? Of course they would. The whole bloody town would. Tom didn’t know what to do with his body. He couldn’t find the right place to put his hands, or how to plant his feet, or how to hold himself up. He was terrified in every way. 

“I-It’s not such a bad thing!” He opted to say. Be brave, be strong, because there was no doubt in Tom’s mind that Edward was ten times as freaked out by this as he was. He had a girl, for goodness sake! If anyone found out he’d be ruined. 

“No! That is too disgusting!” Edward swung around on the bed to face Tom with an angered expression, and Tom stumbled back in surprise. He didn’t expect Edward to have an outburst like this. 

“It’s not disgusting!” Tom hugged himself, wrapping his arms around his chest. 

“It’s not right, it’s lunacy!” Edward snapped back. 

“It’s real, Edward!” Tom walked toward the bed and placed a hand on Edward’s shoulder, squeezing it tight. “I love you...”

“Don’t say that. We _can’t_ say that, we’ll be ruined!” Edward jerked away from Tom’s hand, hastily standing up and starting to pace. 

“Edward calm down!” Tom tried to grab for him, but Edward just dodged his hand again. 

“I’ve got to go-” He started to walk toward the bedroom door, but Tom finally grabbed his hand. Edward spun to face Tom, the same panicked anger in his eyes. 

“We might not see each other again.” Tom stated clearly. Edward yanked his hand out of Tom’s grasp.

“Well good!-”

“EDWARD!” 

And the events transpired as we know them. Tom begged Edward to stay, trying desperately to convince him that the two of them could work through this together, all he had to do was stop closing himself off. Edward didn’t have to let the people win. But that wasn’t Edward. 

Tom thought, for a brief moment, that maybe Edward was a coward. He was trying to choose the safe option. The one where he could run back to the past, to something that he knew wouldn’t make him as happy as he was with Tom. He would be lying to himself, lying to Anna, wishing he had chosen the better option. Because he was running back to a now loveless marriage. All because he was scared. A coward. 

But Tom knew better. He knew Edward wasn’t a coward, right? He just had to show him that.

“...Do you remember when we first met? Edward, I knew instantly.” Edward was sat on the bed again, and Tom was on his knees behind him. He placed his hands on Edward’s shoulders again, and this time, he faced no resistance. “Look, you didn’t think you’d make it through the week, but you’re tougher than you think!”

“I should be with Anna…” Edward said, looking down at the wedding band resting on his ring finger. 

“That’s a lie!” Tom objected. 

“This will destroy her…” Edward said, shaking his head. He got up, and Tom’s hands helplessly fell off his shoulders. He started to walk to the door again. Something about that angered Tom to no end. Edward had loved Tom for… what, years? Why was he taking the time to care about Anna now? What made right now any different than the past months upon months?

“I don’t care about her!” Tom snapped, and Edward once again turned around to face him. Tom recoiled.

“Well I do! She is good, and she is kind, and she deserves better!” Tom got up off the bed now too, letting his anger run from his head to his toes. He felt so angry that he didn’t even realize how much it truly hurt to hear Edward, after all this time, talk about how much he cared for someone else. And even though in the back of his mind he always knew that was the case, it hurt to actually hear the words put out into the universe. 

“Yeah! And so do you!” Tom swung his hand in Edward’s direction, furiously gesturing to him. And he just really looked at him.

God, he loved Edward so much. So much that he couldn’t bear the thought of him getting up and leaving, not after so damn long. Every ounce of love in Tom’s heart was dedicated to Edward. He loved him so much that it made him ache. It hurt so bad… and yet he wouldn’t give it up for the world. 

He got down on his knee, and in a fit of clouded judgement, pulled out his pocket knife. He took it to one of his boot laces and cut it off. He tied the lace into a bow, a ring, just as he had done so long ago, on that day on their hill. He put the knife back in his pocket and held the ring up to Edward. 

“Give me your hand.” 

“What?” Edward started to back up toward the door, confused. 

“Please.” Tom said desperately. He got up and walked toward Edward, taking his hands and pressing the ring into his palm. “I’m not saying goodbye to you.” 

Edward’s face was practically unreadable, and that terrified Tom. He couldn’t tell what he was thinking for the first time this whole argument. He felt himself trembling as he fumbled to grab the lace-ring from Edward’s palms and slide it onto his ring finger, right over his wedding band. 

“Look!” Tom ran his finger over the ring he made. “Us, knotted together!”

“Tom, I’m sorry-” Edward started to furiously shake his head and pull his hands away from Tom’s. Tom just held them tighter. 

“No.” Tom gave Edward one last, desperate smile. A plea to stay. “Us! Knotted together!”

“Let’s keep it simple, easy, routine. Nothing but simple-”

“No,” Tom backed up, shaking his head. He failed. He really, truly couldn’t get through to him. 

“Easy”

“You-” Tom’s throat tightened as his eyes started to sting. 

“Normal”

“Stop-” He could hear his voice crack. 

“Natural”

“Don’t!” Tom felt the back of his legs hit the fabric of his bedsheets, and he stumbled down onto the bed. He was just sitting there, helpless and crying. 

“Quiet, private, unseen!”

Tom found he couldn’t even open his mouth to say another word. When he tried, his throat would close up and nothing would come out. He just stared at Edward. Stony faced, angered, cruel, mad Edward. 

“Sometimes it’s better to hide away and best to stay ordinary, Tom.” 

The finishing blow. Edward turned around, walked out the bedroom door, and left. No goodbye, no promise to see him later, no good luck, nothing. 

That’s all Tom meant to Edward now. 

Nothing. Absolutely nothing. 

Tom started to sob. 

~1~

“C’mon Ed, you’re doing it all wrong!” 

“I’m trying to get it right, I promise!”

Clumsy, untied tennis shoes tripped over and stepped on each other, and the boys they belonged to couldn’t help but giggle at their own clumsiness. And even though they had stopped dancing, the music on the retro radio in the background continued on without them. 

“I told you he was bad! No use trying to teach a man with two left feet.”

“Quiet, brat!”

“Hey, don’t listen to her. It’s alright. Let’s pick up from the last step, and we can continue on, yeah?”

“Yeah.” 

Ever since Jane decided to have children, the living room of Edward’s country home was never silent. Always a phone going off or a scream echoing down the halls or a shout to get someone’s attention. And in this case, a partner dance lesson. 

Harry and Ed were on the ornate, antique carpet that covered up a great majority of the wooden living room floor. Harry was in the lead, and Ed was just struggling to keep up with him. Gemma sat on the floor next to the radio that she seemed to be in charge of controlling. And behind Gemma sat Edward, now old and of prime grandfathering age, in a relaxed position in his chair. The first chair that had ever been brought into the home, _his_ chair. Gemma sat right at his feet, hugging one of his legs whenever she wasn't fiddling with the radio. 

Edward was mostly paying attention to the book he was reading, blissfully unaware of what was happening right in front of him. He had only seen Gemma come in the room and set up the radio, and after that he didn’t pay attention. 

Edward was a gentle old man in others' opinions. Though, as many veterans of war were, he was almost constantly lost in his own thoughts, bogged down by the contents of his war-torn mind. At least, the war was what people assumed he was bogged down by. 

“Ow! You prick, what was that for!?” Ed yelped as a well-aimed flip-flop hit him square upside the head. Gemma, the culprit of the attack, just laughed. Edward, who had actually heard the screaming with his less-than-average hearing, looked up to see what the commotion was. 

He froze. And everything around him seemed to just… stop. 

He looked upon the picturesque scene of Ed and Harry, such young lovers, dancing together. His grandson and his grandson’s boyfriend, embraced, dancing. Together. And yet, all he could seem to see was himself. All that flashed before his eyes was a picture of himself wrapped in Tom’s arms. They stood in the moonlit alcove, embraced, dancing. _Together_. 

He felt a sharp pain in his chest, and everything resumed. Ed fumbled at another step in their dance, and Gemma laughed. Ed shot her a glare, but Harry just took Ed’s face and turned it to look at him. Ed gave him a dorky, lovestruck smile. Edward just pursed his lips. 

Ed looked so… happy. Both of them did. They were so happy together, and just the thought of that sent another stab to Edward’s heart. 

Because looking at Ed and Harry, embraced, dancing together, reminded Edward of what could have been if he chose Tom. The happiness he could have felt being with someone he actually loved, no matter how scary or taboo it might have been. Because he would have been loved, he would have been _in_ love. And he would have been happy. 

The song on the radio changed to something softer and slower, and the two of them halted the dance they were previously doing. They just looked at each other, and wordlessly, they got into a different position. Ed laid his head upon Harry’s chest, and Harry wrapped his arms around Ed. And they just swayed back and forth to the rhythm, a simple and easy dance. 

“Yuck!” Gemma faked a gag and turned around to look at her grandfather. “All that mushy romance stuff is so gross, don’t you agree, Granddad?” 

Edward’s eyes widened as he recognized the song. Instead of answering Gemma, he opened his mouth and started to sing. 

_“Could you coo, could you care, for a cunning cottage we could share. The world will pardon my mush, ‘cause I have got a crush on you_.” His voice was old and croaky, but he couldn’t care any less, for he wasn’t even listening to himself. All he was hearing in his head was Tom’s voice, low and sultry, singing to him as they held each other and swayed back and forth under the light of the moon. 

“You know this song, Granddad?” Gemma snapped him out of his memory with a little tug at his pant leg, and he nodded. 

“Yes, I do. Me and… your grandmother danced to this song. A long time ago,” He said. He had a wistful look in his eyes as he thought of, not his late wife, but of Tom. 

“Oh… that’s sad,” Gemma said with a frown, and she sat back down to look at her brother and his boyfriend. Edward looked down at his hand and fiddled with the ring that sat around his finger. The old fabric of the shoelace-ring was worn, but so was his skin now. Both he and the ring had aged very much since when he got it. 

“ _You should sing for me more often!”_

_“I will, but only because I love you, Laces.”_

Oh how Edward wished he could go back in time and say it back. Just open his stupid, coward mouth and say:

“I love you too.” 

But it was too late now. 

  
  


_“I love you too.”_


End file.
